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Journey to the mythical city

This is a diary of my 2007 trip from Southampton down to the mythical city of Timbuktu in Mali. A few weeks of sweating in the madness that is Africa. I’m afraid it’s more effluent than eloquent, but it gives me something to think about during the long hours alone inside my crash helmet. In my opinion, this diary is a little to self conscious. Last time when I went round the world I didn’t know anyone would read it so my mind was free to roam but this time it might be a little different. I think it gets better towards the end anyway, but if it all seems like a long loud fart, just look at the pictures.

Thanks must go to Nick Sanders for providing me with the opportunity for such an adventure. I went round the world with Nick in 2002 and ever since have been doing trips with him acting as guide/dogsbody/shepherd and it’s been a lot of fun.Thanks also to my friend Paul Blezard who is a motorcycling journalist and all round good bloke. He’s a gifted rider who can, in 99% of cases, including mine, get on somebody’s bike and ride it as well if not better than they can instantly. Paul took on some off road training before I left and whatever it taught my brain was probably the most useful thing I needed on this trip.Apologies for the photos…. When you’re leading a group of riders or running late and playing catch-up you have no if any chance to spend time taking shots of the beautiful scenery I saw. Most the shots are ‘grab and go’ so please be gentle! And… one of my cameras got nicked so there are a lot missing. And I know a lot of people travel, far and wide, up hill and down dale. I don’t ever mean to sound condescending so please forgive anything that comes across that way. I’ve left it how I wrote it at the time, and that may be when I was spaced out with no food and having had my life flash before my eyes… for the 10th time that day….Sooooo…. if you have half an hour to spare some time, then take a look.

Continue reading Journey to the mythical city

The beginning..

OK we’re off! All met up at the airport and checked in. Some of the riders have more baggage than a small nation takes to the Olympic games, and some have more than a large nation takes. God only knows how they will carry it all. I’m sure some them have packed their double beds and favourite armchairs.

We’re on the plane. I’m sitting next to some bloke I don’t know. It’s 10.30 am but he smells like he’s spent the last few hours sampling every spirit on the rack. “Hi, who are you then” I ask. “Hello mate,” he replies, “I’m John and I’m an alcoholic… sorry, sorry… I’m your mechanic” Oh excellent I think. That’s good. I ask him about his breath problem and he says it’s medication from the doctor. Apparently he suffers from really bad ‘polo breath’ so the doctor prescribed some Jack Daniels flavour tablets to hide his embarrassing ‘minty halitosis’ problem.

We’re at 30000ft and it’s time to point Percy at some porcelain. Up to the back I go and wait behind a young girl with a bloke. He’s performing open tonsil surgery with his tongue and she’s bravely managing with only alcohol as aesthetic. Toilet becomes free. She goes in… and he goes in too. Eh up think I, that’s jolly neighborly…

We’re in New York. They seem to be rebuilding the airport unless some enterprising builder has just put a strip of concrete down and is charging airliners half price to land there. We head into town and it’s the same story, all the roads are being rebuilt and half the buildings. We go to catch the ferry the next day and the ferry terminal is being rebuilt too. Everything is being refurbished. I think they’re going to rename it New New York when they are finished.

We’re off to collect the bikes. TAXI! “Statton Island Ferry mate” “What you want to go?” “Statton Island ferry idiot” “What” “move over half wit, I’ll drive” I though I’d have problems speaking American, but I should have learnt Spanish instead it seems. “Could you open the boot” Bloke starts undoing his shoes… “er Trunk” Did the Americans used to drive elephants before they drove cars? Who knows. Over on the ferry you get a lovely view of NY waterfront but it looks weird now the towers have gone. Really bare. We’ve picked up the bike from the freighters and they all start ok thank god. Some are a bit damaged and mine has a bit missing that holds the tank bag on. BUGGER. First aid is administered with thick Velcro.

Continue reading The beginning..