Out on the ‘road’ today, I was mostly thinking about garage conversions. I was thinking that if I told my wife I was coming back now she would go ahead workout any consultation, throw an old mattress on the floor, put a metal bucket in the corner and a dead hedgehog to wipe my bum with and it would be a fait accompli. If on the other hand I threw my phone on the back of a truck and surprised her, then maybe I could at least get a dead rabbit.
It’s been a shit day. The traffic is shit. The roads are double bastard fucking unbelievable cunt cunty cuntfest shit and it’s been 15 degrees with a wind that South America would be proud of. And the towns I went through.. Jesus Christ almighty. If I saw a perfect, freshly layed dog turd, still glistening with its analotic birth fluid, I’d take a fucking picture of it because it would be by far the nicest thing for miles around. It’s shit. Look.
My problem is the roads. I came through here in 2018 with 3 mates and we went right across to Vladivostok. The roads were passable, and they went through towns and villages. They went through the fields and crops. They constantly zig zagged across the Trans Siberian railway. It was a lovely journey. But NOW. Everywhere is dull monotonous dual carriage way, often in a state of complete roadwork chaos. I’ve been through more roadworks today than the last 5 years put together. Miles of trucks crawling along, their backsides wobbling to and fro like a chubber whose legs touch all the way form ankle to arse. I’m really not sure how much more of this I can be bothered with.
Now.. where is my sketchbook. I need to draw a plan of this garage conversion.
I’m forcing myself to go east. Each night when I get to my destination I’m determined to turn round, but I go for a walk and I can’t give up. I’m at war with myself and that means I’ll never win. I’m forever coming up with new coping mechanisms. Things to convince me to carry on.
This is all my fault of course. Believing my own publicity and thinking I’m still 30 years old. I’ve seen a fair few bikes out on the road today but i bet almost all are on one way trips. And they are all exclusively Russian. I doubt many are riding out AND back all this way. That would be FUCKING INSANE I should have given this a lot more thought. I should have put my bike on a train in Moscow to way out east and ridden to “almost madness” from there. That would have been the sensible option. But I’ve never been sensible.
I did see a woman trapped in the back of a truck. I thought of calling for help, but then I thought bugger it, I’ll rescue her myself
At least the road finally ran out of dual carriageway today and became more the road I remember, albeit a lot busier. Fuck it’s busy now. All day you come across Truckapillars. Maybe 10-15 trucks in a tight convoy, all trying to overtake a truck speed limited to 1 mph less than theirs at the front. You have to jump from truck to truck and drop into the 20ft vortex in between. I had some very close shaves today. So close that even Shit and Happens stopped squabbling in the back seat of my head.
Got to Omsk and the place looks like a bloody bomb site, which given the current circumstances isn’t completely unfeasible, so I ditched the ghetto and picked a random motel in the main road. Just alongside the Trans Siberian railway line. I’m very glad to see that
Turns out it’s run by a giggle of young girls. Maybe I’ll stay here instead of going home to my bed and bucket
